Lessons we learn from our children

I was shopping at Costco recently and picked up a bundle of Super-Savings” tickets to the Del Mar Fair when I thought about how much I’ve learned from my daughter, Siena. Some of the youngest people in our lives can teach us the greatest lessons and even serve as an important reminder to reconnect to our values and principles.

I have long believed that creating the world the way you want to experience it comes through utilizing visualization techniques—imagining what you want to create and then attracting that into your life. Of course, it’s always easier to do when things are going smoothly and you’re feeling well. The challenge is to apply the technique when you’re not feeling your best—that’s exactly when my then eight-year-old daughter, Siena, helped me to remember two important tools: the power of visualization and peaceful communication.

We were at the county fair; it was crowded and smelled of saturated deep-fried fatty foods that melt in your mouth but later take up permanent residence on your hips. The music was blaring, lights were flashing, carnival barkers were yelling, “Today only! Three balls—$5! Knock down any Coke can and win a prize. Did you hear what I said?” I heard and tried not to actively listen to the noisy hawking.

We headed for the rides and boarded the “Crazy Mouse.” I can handle some roller coasters if they’re fairly tame (I figured this one was). The ride began with some little hills and a not-too-alarming pace (I thought I was in the clear). And then suddenly, you’d have thought I was in Disneyland’s twisting teacup ride! Around and around it went—slowly then fast, fast, faster. I crawled off the ride feeling sick and dragged myself to the bathroom.

Sitting on a toilet in the stall, I could feel my stomach still spinning and my head throbbing. My daughter’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m scared, Mommy. How will you drive us home?”

I didn’t quite know, but I struggled to whisper, “Don’t worry, I’ll be OK. I’ll get us home.” It must not have sounded too convincing because Siena tried another technique. Gathering her courage and forgetting her worries, she began creating a peaceful visual.

“Focus, Mommy, just focus on something positive, beautiful.” Siena continued, “All you have to do is think about something pretty and fun like a farm and you’re sitting on a haystack watching the cows graze. The ducks are swimming in the pond and you can feel the cool air.”

I listened as actively as possible in that condition. I was beginning to get the picture in my head. (Funny thing, I never knew that my city girl knew so much about farms.)

She went on, “Inside the house mommies are making cakes. The children are playing outside. The mommy horse is feeding its babies. Think about how beautiful it is there.”

I got the picture. Siena had used visualization as her tool, and peaceful communication as her means to help me forget about the nausea.

It worked. I drove us home, still a little sick, but happier because Siena could see how her efforts kept me focused and on track, and how respectful, peaceful communication can bring positive changes. At home she put me to bed and then lay down next to me, face-to-face. I thanked her for what she had done. She said, “When I care about people, I try to do what’s right for them.” I thought to myself, What an amazing girl I have! And then she said, “Do you think maybe, Mommy, that you should sleep facing the other way? You know, just in case you get sick?” And I thought, A smart girl, too!

Now, it’s your turn. Share what lessons you have learned from your children for possible inclusion in future columns. Email stories to: mail@phoebechongchua.com If your story is used in a future column you will receive a free life coaching session.

Phoebe Chongchua is a motivational speaker. She is the author of: If the Trash Stinks, Take it Out: 14 Worriless Principles for Your Success available online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. Phoebe’s writing is also featured in Donald Trump’s book: The Best Real Estate Advice I ever Received. For more details visit: www.phoebechongchua.com or call: (858) 259-3646.